Weariness of the reasons: children say also don’t listen, dozen also don’t listen, you parents how education?

2022-08-04 0 By

Net friend ask: the child say also don’t listen, dozen also don’t listen, each parent is how education?Weariness and Dr. Ben: Adults can teach children to do whatever they want without breaking the rules.One of the most important things here is that children understand the rules and that adults help them follow them and define their own boundaries.Many adolescent children weariness, unable to adapt to the school environment, but also when this aspect of the parents did not education.Here’s a case about helping kids establish rules.I remember a mom with two kids at an amusement park, and the kids didn’t want to leave when the time came.Mother in the side called for a long time, the children are not willing to leave, and mother bargaining.As soon as dad came over, he picked up his brother, and his brother followed him.Dad settled the matter without saying a word.This is to help the child clarify the rules, otherwise the child will wonder whether to follow the rules at all.Another big mistake is parents saying, “Do you want to go home?”As a result, the child says that he wants to continue to play, and the parents have a black face, the child will be confused.One Sunday, while the family was reading the newspaper, Christine walked up to her mother, snatched the newspaper from her hands and threw it on the ground.Her mother said, “Christine, this is not a good thing. Pick up the newspaper and give it back to Mommy and say you’re sorry.””I don’t need to do that.”Christine replied.Every member of the family offered the same advice, but she rejected it one by one.So I asked Betty to carry her into the bedroom.I lay down on the bed first, while Betty laid Christine down beside me.Christine looked at me haughtily and began to climb out of bed, but I grabbed her ankle.She said, “Let go of me!”And I said, “I don’t have to.”We went on for four hours.She kicked and struggled, and soon she was free of one ankle: I was holding the other, and it was a desperate battle — like a silent struggle between two hercules.After a four-hour fight, she finally gave up and said, “I’m going to pick up the paper and give it back to Mommy.””You don’t have to do this,” I said.”I’ll pick it up. I’ll give it back to Mommy. I’ll apologize to Mommy.”I remained unmoved. “You don’t need to do this.”I’m going to pick up the newspaper. I’m going to pick up the newspaper. I’m going to apologize to Mommy.””Good,” I said.One day, ten years later, my two young daughters were rude and yelled at their mother.I immediately called the girls over and said, “Stand on this rug and reflect. I don’t think it’s a good thing to yell at your mother. Stand here and think about whether what I’m saying makes sense.”I could stand here all night,” Christine said.”I don’t think it’s good to yell at your mommy,” Roxanne said. “I’m going to apologize.”I went back to writing my essay, and an hour later, I turned to Christine to see if she, too, was contrite.An hour of standing would have been enough to tire her, but Christine remained frozen and refused to make a gesture.I went back to writing.Another hour passed and I said to Christine, “It seems like even the long and long hands on the wall clock are crawling feebly.”Half an hour later, I turned to Christine again. “I think the way you talked to Mommy was stupid, and I think it’s ridiculous to yell at your mother.”She threw herself into my lap and said, “I think so too.”And began to SOB.For ten years of that time I did not punish the boy at all — between the ages of two and twelve.When I was fifteen, I punished her once more, and that was all, but three times in all.In an article published in the journal Of Family Processes, “Identifying with Safe Reality,” Erickson said:”In the process of childhood cognitive development, practical, safe, and borders or the definition of limit, will form a very important and must be prudent to take into consideration the subject… when a man so young, weak yet so intelligent, frequently fluctuated in intellectual, emotional and not defined in the world, his desire for learning what is the real strong, stable and safe.”When She said “surrender,” Erikson could have let her go, but he insisted on waiting until she said, “I want…”She finally changed the word “must” to “I will,” which shows that she has internalized the good behavior expected from the outside world.With this story, In his usual terse way, Erikson conveys the development of an inner conscience or superego.He also stresses the importance of early “boundary and limit setting”.Given this early “strong but safe” disciplinary process, it’s no wonder That Erickson will only have to discipline Christine two more times over the next 15 years.The lessons of the early years have been deeply ingrained.About children weariness, and this doctor’s hint: children weariness reasons, just grades regardless of heart.The performance of children weariness, learning disabilities tube heart difficult.Children tired of learning how to do?Family management is the key.Children weariness to tube heart, psychological management tube camp.